


Hidden Feelings

by hellareyna



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Apologies, Canon, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Femslash, Heartbreak, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Islamophobia, Lesbian Vilde, Lesbophobia, Masturbation, Redemption arc for vilde, compulsory heterosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10919838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellareyna/pseuds/hellareyna
Summary: Beginning when Vilde is at the infamous karaoke party at SYNG and makes out with the prettiest girl at Nissen. Afterwards Vilde reflects upon her hidden feelings. Miscommunication and awkwardness ensue in a pursuit for true love and happiness.





	1. The Most Beautiful Girl at Nissen

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during and after 4x05. Also please talk to me about how much of a lesbian Vilde is because COME ON. I might spell russ differently throughout this because i'm kinda confused on whether it is russ or russe.

Vilde touched her lips with her fingers as if she was shocked to feel they were both still there on her face. After what she had just felt it wouldn’t be a surprise. It had been an experience like no other one she had had before. What she was feeling now didn’t seem completely real. Tingling and jittering throughout her whole body resonated afterwards. She still felt the magic of the kiss. Her lips were feeling more than she knew she could feel from such a small gesture.  


It had been such a small and almost insignificant moment. It was had been full of meaning to her. That short time felt like a love that lasted lifetimes to her. It was like the fairy tales said, it was a moment she’d never forget. A moment that she wished could last forever had ended so awkwardly, but the magic was still inside of her mind. It was still racing like a hamster on a wheel. There was a constant feeling of the same thoughts going over and over in her head  


Vilde needed to walk away from the dance floor in order to think more clearly. She had to leave the scene and go outside. The room was beginning to spin even though she hadn’t drank yet. Awkwardly she shimmied through the large crowd of people in the bar and left out the back door. There she started pacing on the sidewalk nervously in the fresh spring air.  


This felt wrong. It wasn’t supposed to feel this good especially when it wasn’t with your boyfriend. A kiss was just a kiss. It wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a precursor to sex. This was so much more and it had had only been a moment. Just one small moment and she felt new. If she had a single moment change her how could the sex feel? How could anything feel now if she had this electric kiss’s memory inside her brain and shaking her insides.  


Eva had asked her last weekend if she’d heard the rumors that Magnus loved Vilde more than she loved him. What she was fearing now was maybe the rumors were completely right. Maybe she didn’t love Magnus as much as he loved her. What if she could never love anyone as much as they loved her? But only as long as she kept lying to herself about what she wanted. Maybe she didn’t love Magnus at all. This may be because he wasn’t who Vilde really loved. That would be have to be Eva Mohn.

* * *

 

Eva had drunkenly smirked at Vilde after she kissed her. The kiss had been so soft and sweet but then she just bounced away. It was as if the embrace had just been a giggly joke to her, but Vilde was still feeling it. She had kissed Eva many times before at parties, and each time she had convinced herself she only enjoyed it because of how drunk they were that night. Tonight though, she wasn’t drunk at all. Completely sober and kissing girls and then enjoying it. This wasn’t what straight girls did. Everyone knew that, especially Vilde.  


Vilde felt a knot start to form in her stomach as she continued to pace. All this anxiety and thinking about things she tried to hide was nauseating to her. She just wanted to be a normal Norwegian party girl. A girl who dated boys and hooked up at parties. All she’d ever wanted since first year was to be normal and popular. She had to forget what she wanted in order to get the acceptance and popularity of her wildest dreams.  


Russ would probably be awful next year if she became a social outcast. All she had to do was ignore how Eva made her heart race and her throat dry up. She gave her butterflies, but she also forced her to acknowledge something deep inside that she didn’t want to ever feel. Something that she thought having sex with the coolest third year should have destroyed.  


Hearing voices of boys leaving the venue Vilde stopped her pacing and looked up from the ground to see Magnus and his friends. They were led by an angry Even and Isak. The two who just a few minutes ago had been singing inside happily. Even looked so self assured then and now as he proudly led his friends out of the bar like a general into battle. Vilde longed for his confidence. If only she could tell Magnus her doubts and explain to Eva what those kisses had actually meant. Vilde could only imagine how terrible that would work out for her.  


“Vilde you better go back inside.” Magnus shouted to her with a worried look on his usually goofy face.  


Now Magnus was in an entirely different world than her. It seemed Magnus wasn’t ever really in her world. He loved her so much harder and so much more than she loved him back. It seemed like she was his whole world. While still in thought Vilde just smiled back at him and nodded. More people were now coming out of the bar. She couldn’t quite identify them, but as they got closer to her she saw it was Sana’s brother and his gang of friends. They were coming out of SYNG just as angry as the other boys had been just a few minutes earlier. Something ominous felt present, but she didn’t know what it could possibly be and didn’t want to find out either.  


Up the hill she ran back into the bar to find someone or something she wasn’t quite sure yet. Back in the bar everyone seemed as fun and happy as before. Eskild caught her eye while he was smiling and dancing to some techno pop song. Smiling back at him she danced towards his beckoning. Eventually they were dancing side by side laughing just like the first time she had met him so long ago. It felt good, and almost as if her worries from before were gone.  


The song died down and the room was slightly quieter. People were still loud and tipsy, but at least Vilde could hear herself think. What she heard was that she needed to find Eva. Not knowing why or what needed to be said she asked Eskild where the redhead was last seen.  


“I don’t think you’ll be able to get much talking in with her right now.” Eskild smirked and pointed.  


Her heart dropped. She looked across the room to see the most beautiful girl at Nissen leaned against a wall kissing some nameless and basic boy. Vilde felt betrayed, not by Eva, but by herself for ever thinking she could ever be able to tell Eva how she felt


	2. Stone Cold Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilde betrays Sana in order to fit in with the Pepsi Max girls and ends up hurting herself more than anyone.

It wasn’t that Vilde had never seen Eva kiss a boy before, she had seen her kissing Penetrator Chris almost nonstop last year. This still hurt. Maybe because she had had the smallest inkling of a thought that Eva had been kissing her back because she liked her too. Eva would never like Vilde, and Vilde would never get over that if she didn’t stop staring at Eva making out with the nameless boy.

She had Magnus why did it even matter to her whether a girl liked her or not? A boy she didn’t like very much who loved her was way better than a girl she loved who didn't like her at all. At least that’s what she would tell herself in order to keep the tears at bay. 

All of a sudden she heard screaming coming from outside. Sana and that boy her brother hung out with, Yousef she wanted to think, ran past her with terrified looks on their face to go outside. It was probably the boys who had been coming outside as she was going inside. Perhaps, it was cheering of a joyful nature, she wondered, lying to herself. How the boys had been viciously eyeing one another outside earlier was not jovial or kind. She could only imagine what happened once they had gotten their hands on one another. 

“Oh dear God, he’s been hurt,” Vilde heard an older boy shout while he looked out the entrance at what must have turned into a nasty fight. 

Vilde pushed through the herd gathering around the door. She may not be in love with Magnus in the same way he was with her, but she still loved him enough to be praying to every deity she could think of that he wasn’t the injured person the boy had yelled about. Her elbowing paid off despite her small stature and she reached the front of the small crowd. Then her hands went to her mouth for the second time that night, only this time it was for a much different reason. 

Isak was far away from the fighting boys and was with Even. Sana was trying to tear the fighting boys apart. Vilde left the building to get closer, she stood on the patio hoping to see what had happened to the blonde boy had his boyfriend helping him. Madhi and Sana’s brother were fighting and grabbing one another. So much was going on. Vilde felt her heartbeat racing and her chest beginning to hurt when she saw that Magnus was fighting Elias’s crew alongside Jonas and Madhi. She didn’t want him to get hurt too. She didn’t want to lose him too. She didn’t want to lose him. 

Sana now appeared breaking up the fight. She and the other boys were helping Isak and his unknown injury The Muslim boys ran off angry. Yousef didn’t go with them. Vilde found that odd. Why wasn’t he going with them? Why did those boys fight her friends? How did they know each other? 

She thought she’d heard from Sana that her brother went to Bakka, which was where Even went last year. But where were the connections? This all seemed so confusing. 

Two of the former Pepsi-max girls came up to Vilde. She knew one of them was Sara, but she wasn’t sure of the other’s name. They both smiled politely at her and Vilde blushed at the pretty and popular girls’ interest in her. 

“Vilde, you know the boys right?” Sara asked her and Vilde nodded eagerly glad she was being noticed after such a huge kerfuffle. 

“So what the fuck was that all about? They didn’t just to fight, right?” The other girl asked seeming to be intrigued. Vilde didn’t know how to answer. She only had a little bit more information than these two girls. Still more knowledge than them they expected her to answer their questions. Feeling awkward she started to shrug, but then realized if she told them she could become an authority on the situation and become respected for the night. She loved attention. As a spectator from the very start of the fight she was a primary source in this instance. Why not make up something plausible? 

“Well those boys are Muslim, so you know they must be doing it because Even and Isak.” The two other girls looked interested so Vilde continued lying. She was loving the attention as the girls held onto every single word like they were holy, “Even and Isak were singing earlier together. They saw them and got mad probably. Those fucking homophobes must hate how they were being gay. Being gay is against Islam, so they had to fight them. It makes sense too.” She said hoping they’d inquire further about her lies that were making her sick. Sana and her brother were some of the kindest people she knew. 

“What do you mean, ‘it makes sense,’ how?” Another girl who had been with Pepsi-max and had just begun listening asked her. 

“Well one time the girls and I went to the gym so Sana could give her brother a key to their apartment and he called her ‘Slave’! He’s sexist as fuck, so he probably hates gay people too” Vilde knew Sana had explained later that it had been some weird bet she had made with Elias, but at least it wasn’t a total lie this time. 

“That whole family seems odd. Remember how he freaked out when he got home when we were having our Russe party at her house. He must not let her do anything. You know Muslims hate women, right? They don’t even let them drive.” Sara spoke proudly while the other girls surrounding her nodded in a hive mind. 

Vilde shuddered at the pure racism that the girls were speaking. If she wanted to fit in she may have to throw away her true beliefs. Sana had helped her after these girls had kicked her out of their bus when she was a first year. Her kindness was infinite. These girls had none. 

They were cruel and would tear one another apart at the drop of a hat. Just last week they had talked about how kind Sana had been for hosting the party. If they did this because Sana dared to be herself unapologetically what would they do if they knew Vilde wanted to kiss girls? It was a mob mentality that Vilde was going to stick with if it meant she’d be part of the coolest Russe Bus at school. She’d done it for the past weeks and she wouldn’t be stopping now. 

Another girl spoke up from the group excitedly, “Oh my God, did you see those two lesbos from Elvebakken? They can’t keep it in their pants. The two of them were on each other like dogs, I was gonna vomit. I’m glad they weren’t hitting on me at least.” The girl was so disgusted, but all Vilde felt was jealous of how proud two girls in love could be in public. She wished she could be like them. Whoever they were. 

Vilde suddenly felt cold and went inside, leaving the patio. She went up to the bar and asked for whatever drink would make her not feel the guilt and jealousy that was building up inside of her. Wanting to drink it away was what came naturally to her. Her mom’s wine tasting parties were where she first discovered social drinking and she hadn’t seemed to forget the thrill of it. Someone tapped on her shoulder and Vilde turned to see a face so sad and so disappointed it looked as if all good feelings had been drained. 

“How could you Vilde, I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. But you’re just a stone cold backstabbing bitch.” Sana grabbed Vilde with her hand, stained with Isak's blood. Vilde felt as if her hands were covered in Sana's lood. She had hurt her friend in order to fit in, and now she didn't even know who she was or what she was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was going to ignore Vilde being a snake in this episode. I chose to explain it, because Vilde has always been so eager to please it makes sense this way.


	3. Bravery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilde speculates on what to do about Magnus and her relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place the week after hiatus. Sometime after Sana quits the bus, but the exact time doesn't matter. The first two chapters were more canon than this one will be. This is now less of my wishes on how the plot could turn out to be and more of plot editing. I like how the show is going, but this is just a different route. Also I PROMISE there will be some more Eva X Vilde later on. I PROMISE!!!

When Vilde got the text from Sana saying she was leaving the bus she had been with some former Pepsi-max girls. They all told her it wouldn’t change anything since Sana had just been bossy, but didn’t do much. They were wrong. Vilde was never the leader. Her meetings she had organized in first year had just been an excuse for her to talk to the girls mindlessly about William and whether he would ever have sex with her. 

Once he got with Noora she had focused more on her own health than Russe. She knew that she needed to focus more on it now, but she didn’t want to focus on it. If she did it was only because Eva. The girl of her dreams was keeping her in the group. The possibility of them kissing again at some party they would attend together, kept her going. 

Eva and her weren’t meant to be after all. She’d stay with Magnus just like she had planned. Maybe that would make everything else in her life seem normal, if she had a boyfriend who she fucked regularly like a normal Norwegian party girl. 

Shit she thought. She stopped typing on her laptop about the effects of coal on the economy of Svalbard, a paper she understood less and less the more she researched. Magnus wanted to hang with her today. After the party two Fridays previously she had devoted more of her time to avoiding Eva and fucking Magnus to forget about how she was avoiding Eva. 

She checked her recent texts. There were two from Magnus from the last half hour. One was a gif of someone watching a clock tick by sadly from just a couple minutes ago. Twenty minutes earlier he texted her asking if they were still on for tonight with a winky face with so much subtext it should have been blushing. She knew what that meant he wanted from her. She just didn’t want to give it him anymore. Not tonight, not ever again. Everytime she kissed him she felt the opportunity to tell him the truth getting farther and farther away from her. She’d just never tell the truth. Nobody would be shocked if she married Magnus and stayed with him forever. 

Vilde was not like Isak. She wasn’t some idiot that would date straight while going behind the person’s back and be who she really wanted to be but hurting someone who had put trust in her. Magnus cared for her so much, she knew that. It was important to her that if she ever told him the truth it was in a way that he would not get hurt. 

Maybe not because she cared if he got hurt, but because it would seriously fuck with her image if she was some bitch who cheated on her doting boyfriend. Her selfishness was not something she didn’t realize existed, she instead accepted it. Being a teenage girl being selfish just came naturally to her like breathing or getting a giant zit the day of a party where lots of pictures would be taken. It was who she was to an extent. In order to protect herself she had to be selfish. 

Realizing she had yet to reply to the texts Magnus sent her she wondered if she could bail on him. If he would know what she was really doing. Did Magnus know that over the past two weeks she had canceled on him three times. Each time she had stayed home thinking about Eva. Vilde had been alone in her room and in those moments felt more than what she felt with Magnus. It wasn’t real, but it felt more real. 

Sana quit the bus, because she knew people mistreated her. She knew her worth. Vilde didn’t yet, she still needed the validation of the bus. It had been her safety net for over a year and half. Something to tie her down to being normal. Sana could live without Vilde, but Vilde needed someone like Sana to show her bravery. Vilde needed Sana. 

Right now she was still wondering what to text Magnus back. She decided she needed her alone time tonight. Her text read, “Sorry i can’t :( studying.” This was a lie. 

She turned off her laptop and placed it on her desk. Then Vilde laid down on her bed and unzipped her jeans she had been wearing all day. Needing to unwind was important and self love was part of that. The memories of Eva’s kisses were a part of that for Vilde as the memory and her hand made her feel more than William or Magnus ever had. She smiled to herself, slowly feeling brave.


	4. Move Fowards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilde masturbates and makes plans with Eva

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time of these chapters keep changing. This is continuous from the last one, but thats not always going to be the case. Also how i'm writing texts is different than i did last chapter.

Her jeans were now completely off as she laid on her own bed peacefully. Vilde’s fingers slowly inched towards her own vagina. Right now she was feeling turned on because she was thinking of Eva and how hot she looked when she smiled. How great Eva’s boobs looked when she leaned over a table or how good her hair looked when it was messy and in her face. The first time she had met Eva she wore the sexiest eyeshadow Vilde had ever seen and from that moment she’d been keen for her.  


When she had been desperately trying to fuck William in first year she had told Noora that talking about clothes and makeup turned her on. That had probably been because Eva’s makeup and clothes were always so perfect and looked so fucking hot. Eva was what had turned her on. How she fit in her clothes just right and showed off all her femininity just right when she wore makeup, that was hot to Vilde.  


Now rubbing her own clitoris slowly Vilde imagined what she would do if eva was right there with her. Vilde longed for the sweet touch and taste of Eva’s skin. The memory of it was always on her mind and she felt wet just thinking of how good Eva would taste and feel underneath her. Only having tasted her lips and neck were a small consolation to her, but she wanted to know all of her more.  


Vilde continued to pleasure herself thinking of the redheaded girl. She quickly grew tired and lethargic from the feelings masturbation gave her. She quickly dozed off to visions of Eva’s head between her legs.

* * *

Vilde woke up and it was dark out. She looked at her alarm clock on her bedside. It was 19:05. The past two or so hours had just been spent having sex dreams about Eva. Hadn’t she had plans with Magnus?  


Fuck, her plans with Magnus, had he replied to her decline? Vilde walked into her kitchen where she had left her phone. Magnus had replied to her “Ok, and remember you’re a genius :)” he had written. She softly smiled to herself. Vilde loved how much he loved her. It felt amazing to be loved, but she wished she knew how it felt to love just as hard back.  


This sucked, she couldn’t win in this situation. If she dumped Magnus now she’d be single and alone, but if she continued being with him she’d be dating a boy she had no real feelings towards. Her hookups with Eva at parties had felt so amazing. Real life couldn’t be like that. Real lesbians had beer cans thrown at them when they rejected boys at parties, “fake lesbians” got free beer at parties when boys watched them make out.  


But, Vilde was brave and proud. She deserved her own happiness apart from Magnus, or any boy. Vilde had been kicked off a Russ bus, been referred to as nothing, recovered from an eating disorder, and had thought an ovulation test was a pregnancy test. If those things hadn’t broken her with the pain and embarrassment that they inflicted would being truly happy break her? Could she survive telling Eva how she felt? Would it just end up like the time before when she saw Eva making out with that nameless boy at SYNG.  


Grabbing her phone again, anxiously, she went to her contacts and tapped Eva’s information.  


“This is for the best.” she muttered to herself, she didn’t believe herself, but she knew that she must talk to Eva about her feelings or else she would explode. She typed out a friendly text hoping to get a quick reply, thankfully she got one.  
****

**Vilde** : Hey Eva, can we talk?  
**Eva** : What’s up?  
**Eva** : Did you mean to text me or in the Olafia clinic?

Vilde felt embarrassed, she was always so open with all the girls that not texting them all at once felt weird.  
****

**Vilde** : No, I wanted to talk to you :)  
**Vilde** : Just you  
**Eva** : Oh, have you not seen what Noora texted in the chat?

Vilde was confused. She hadn’t thought she’d seen any new texts when she woke up from her slumber besides Magnus’s text. She checked the chat. Noora had left the bus now too. It must have been because Sana left, Vilde thought knowing that they had been hanging out a lot lately.  
****

**Vilde** : Oh that sucks, but I still want to see you!

Soon enough the two girls figured out a time. For a place to talk, Vilde made sure to have them not meet in a public place. She was scared people would be suspicious. Of what she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t even sure what she was going to tell Eva, especially since she was still officially with Magnus. Maybe she just wanted clarification on what the other girl felt before she made a move forward or a move backwards with Magnus. Wanting to confirm what she knew inside she wanted to be true, but wanting wasn’t the same as being


	5. So close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilde and Eva hang out. Vilde is scared Eva doesn't reciprocate her feelings.

"Hi,” Vilde smiled as Eva opened her door to see Vilde standing on the stoop. 

Vilde was picking at her nails at hoping not to be coming off as awkward as she felt on the inside. Her awkwardness would just have to be more hidden feelings that she kept inside her heart. She needed to get her feelings out she thought, that’s why she was here, to tell her how she felt. No more lies, she needed Eva to know the truth about how she felt about her. 

It was a Friday night and it was just going to be the two of them at Eva’s house. Her mom was away on another one of her trip, and the house would be all to the two of them. The mock exams were coming up and Sana and Isak were studying she had heard, but love was more important than her school. Besides if she was less worried about Eva she would do better on her tests. 

“Vilde, come inside.” Eva said welcoming her, but Vilde knew she must be feeling uncomfortable too. 

The two of them hadn’t hung out alone in ages, maybe never. They always had had the Flawless girls with them lately and even before that Sana, Chris, or Noora were always there too. But now it was just the two of them. Alone. There was nobody for Vilde to hide behind today. 

“Don’t you want to take your jacket off Vilde?” Eva asked after she had closed the door behind Vilde. 

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” Vilde stuttered as she took off her jean jacket and hung it on a hook, “Can I get something to drink?” Vilde spoke hoping to prevent a silence in the stale air that she hated so much. 

Eva nodded and they walked to the modern kitchen on the other side of the house. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet for Vilde. Then she looked at Vilde expectantly. What was it, she worried, did she already know what she wanted to tell her and she was disgusted? 

“What did you say you had wanted to drink?” Eva asked. 

Oh, right she realized she had told her she wanted to drink something but never specified, “I didn’t, but I’ll just have some water.” 

The cup was filled up at the tap and then she handed it to Vilde with a smile on her face.The blonde girl hoped her friend couldn’t see how she shook when their hands brushed as she handed her the cup. 

Those small touches made her feel more than any of the wild sex she had had with Magnus. Each time she tried crazier and crazier sex hoping to feel something real, but each time had been for naught. Magnus was more just a living vibrator to her. If she learned how Eva felt about her she hoped that could change. 

Eva grabbed a bag of potato chips after Vilde drank her water. She began snacking on a handful. After offering some to her friend Vilde happily thanked her and grabbed some happy to be close to her. Standing next to her and eating the chips felt so good to her. It was just, right. This moment could last forever. She rested her head on Eva’s shoulder and suddenly Eva shuttered and bounced away. Vilde felt discouraged. Had she misread her? 

“Do you want to watch some Netflix or something?” Eva asked Vilde after she put the chips in the cabinet and looking like she forgot what Vilde had just done. 

Vilde nodded, even though she felt confused by the other girl's actions. They went downstairs into Eva’s basement bedroom. They were so close while walking on the stairs that she could smell her. The aroma that was a mix of fruits and a fire. It all seemed so cheesy, but she was even in love with the smell of her. Still, Vilde felt herself becoming unsure of what she was planning on doing and what was happening between the two of them as she walked down the narrow stairway into the bedroom. 

There were so many mixed signals. The shutter after she leaned her head on her for sure was a sign she did not reciprocate the feelings, but watching Netflix alone in her room? She knew what Netflix and chill meant. 

Eva went to find her laptop in her messy room. An unsure Vilde stood awkwardly not knowing where to go or what to do. She thought sitting on the bed would set one of two tones. That she was really into Eva and wanted to sleep with her, or that she just saw her as a friend and sitting on a bed with her watching Netflix was totally platonic and wouldn’t have any implications. Neither of those were what Vilde wanted Eva to think of her. It was probably the most comfortable looking furniture in the room, but she just stood 

“Aren’t you gonna sit down? My bed isn’t made of lava or poison.” Eva asked jokingly after she had found her laptop under a bra and had it in her arms, “Unless you want to go back upstairs to watch it.” She said looking confused with her head tilting to the left. 

“No, this is fine.” Vilde replied as she awkwardly slinked down on the bed then held her knees to her chest. 

She hadn't wanted to make assumptions like she had earlier. The other girl sat next to her and they leaned against the wall behind Eva’s bed while she scrolled through Netflix with her computer on her lap. Nervously Vilde held a pillow in her arms picking at it hoping to make time pass quicker. She wanted to just blurt it out, but that would ruin the moment. Instead she just sat, staring at the blank wall not knowing what to do. 

“Is Friends ok with you?” Eva asked looking over at her from her computer screen and grinning adorably. Vilde wanted to say yes but instead told her what needed to be said, “Eva I need to tell you something, and it’s important that you listen to me.” She tried so hard to keep her voice from faltering but her nerves must have gotten to her head because her voice was starting to crack. 

Eva looked worried, “Vilde, is everything good with you and Magnus? I’m sorry I told you that rumor a while back. Gossip and worries can ruin relationships, I know that better than anyone.” 

She smiled as she tried to comfort Vilde not knowing all she wanted was to stay like this forever. In her arms she felt at ease and calmed by her. Laying her head on her chest she felt the softness of her breasts and her heartbeat. This felt perfect. She looked up at Eva and spoke what she needed to say. 

“Eva, what I wanted to talk about was when we kissed at that party a few weeks ago at SYNG.” Eva nodded and Vilde continued while positioning herself so she was sitting upright, “All those times I kissed you, I wasn’t always drunk. I just really want you to know that I...” 

She stopped talking because at that moment she realized how close Eva was to her. Their two noses were almost touching. Every detail on her face and every shade in her hazel eyes was beautiful to her. Vilde froze not wanting to make another move. Not wanting to disturb the perfection in front of her nose. Eva inched her face closer to Vilde’s. They were so close. They tilted their heads to each side and looked in one another’s eyes and smiled as if they were about to laugh at one another. 

Eva looked into her eyes and smiled and she spoke angelically “Oh Vilde, I didn’t want to assume when you touched me before, but I think I feel…” 

A bang had startled the two of them suddenly. The moment was gone forever Vilde thought. Eva got up and looked to her bedroom window to see Noora’s face. Their friend was knelt in the wet dirt peeking in the room. Noora laughed cheerily after Eva had opened the window in order for her to slide in. 

“My mom’s not here you could have used the front door.” Eva forced a laugh almost as if she was annoyed at her friend, “Good to have another friend here, right Vilde?” This seemed almost sarcastic to Vilde. 

Eva looked over at Vilde and rolled her eyes as they joined her on the bed with Noora between them. Noora began talking about her worries with Sana. Apparently Sana was overworking herself and was avoiding Noora. Noora had no idea why. 

“I keep asking her if she wants me to come over, because I have something to tell her, but she just keeps saying she has to study for mock exams. I’m worried about her. Something is off I just know it,"Noora seemed very upset. 

Vilde bit her lip knowing she had caused her isolation, and she wanted to hold back. She knew Sana was isolating herself and feeling unwanted because of her actions. She knew Sara was a bitch who hurt Sana and would turn against her if she knew how truly different Vilde was from her. Vilde’s conscience had been heavy because of her disloyalty towards Magnus but also her betrayal of her good friend. Something needed to be done to reconcile and repair the damage she had done. Fix it, she thought. 

With Noora in between the two girls who only moments before had nearly kissed there was a sense of tension that she was stuck in the middle of on the bed. Secret glances between them felt like a sort of magic that Noora couldn’t see, but Vilde wanted her to see. Kissing Eva and being with her felt so good she wanted everyone to know how happy she was with such a beautiful girl. Everyone needed to know how proud she was of what she was, a normal Norwegian party girl who was also a lesbian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now my longest fanfiction by almost 2000 words! I'm really proud and hope you enjoy it too! If you want to show me love remember to give kudos and comments are always welcomed. I have more of a plan and end goal with this and there will be only 2 more chapters, probably published after the last episode airs if you want that fix. I updated the rating from teen to mature. If you want to follow me on tumblr @lesbeansqueen


	6. Actualization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilde fixes things with those she's hurt.  
> Part 1: Herself  
> Part 2: Sana  
> Part 3: Isak  
> Part 4: Magnus

Noora, Chris, and Eva were surrounding her as she continued to sob. She could hardly bear the thought of what the page had done to her status. After the Saranors2 account surfaced she had decided not to come out just yet. Seeing how awful Sara could be and how little people cared what she said about them made her sick. People seemed more upset about whoever outed Sara and the information that got outed than what awful thing Sara had actually said to the unknown leaker.

The hypocrisy of the people who were hurt by what Sara said attacking her was so confusing to her. If she had outed Sara as the bitch she was shouldn’t they have been glad to know what she truly was? They were mad at Vilde and they posted her secrets.

Her first fear had been what Eva would think of it. Since the week before they hadn’t mentioned the almost kiss they had had in her room. It had been swept under the rug just like the school was now doing with Sara’s bitchiness. She didn’t want Eva to think less of her because she had seen that awful stuff about her. Luckily, Eva was one of the first of her friends to come and comfort her after the fake account was made. She was still there for her.

The second person Vilde worried about after the account was made was Magnus. She didn’t want him to think she had been unloyal to him with Elias. Despite her true feelings she didn’t want to hurt him more, he was very important to her and she cared for him. If it ended this was she wouldn’t get to tell her side of the story. People would just see her as a slut who sent another boy her nudes. She hadn’t and she never wanted to do that. That wasn’t even what had happened.

“He’ll break up with me,” She said through her sobs

“No, Vilde, he won’t,” Eva said in a half hearted attempt to comfort her friend.

“Yes, he will” She said continuing to cry ruining her makeup.

They all tried comforting her. Chris told her Magnus would never break up with her. Eva said it was the douchebags who posted the nasty stuff on Instagram to blame not her. Noora told her it wasn’t her fault. All of which Vilde knew but that didn’t make her feel any less shit.

She felt betrayed by Sara. Vilde knew how badly Sara had treated Sana, but she didn’t think that she would turn on her too. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She continued to cry as Eva and the other girls comforted her. Sana came into the room looking confused upon seeing the tears.

“What happened?” Sana asked the girls.

Eva explained to her the situation, “Someone made ellevillevillde 2 and posted lots of shit about Vilde. It’s really bad.” She said while holding Vilde close to her.

All the girls continued to comfort her with words that felt empty to Vilde, who knew she deserved some of this. Life had been going too well of course it was going to be fucked up by some bitch again. Sana looked at Vilde with guilt as if she felt she was responsible. It clicked. Sana had made Saranors2.

The realization felt soured when Eva spoke, “I just don’t understand who can actually do something like that. Making hate accounts and posting shit, how fucking awful can people be?” Vilde looked at Sana who ran off and she began to cry harder.

* * *

 

The van’s music was getting louder and louder as Chris turned up the radio and cheered. The lights were giving all of them a headache, but they were having so much fun as they drove away from Nissen with a giggling Sana. Her smile had been gone for months and she was so glad to have it back in her life. She was back in her life and all the girls were happier, yet Vilde still felt like some more needed to be said.

After a while they decided to stop at a McDonalds and get food. Sana was waiting outside alone sitting on a bench. Fasting tired her out so she said she had needed a rest on the bench outside. Vilde had said she wasn't hungry, but she really had just wanted to talk with Sana. Now it was just the two of them sitting outside the greasy McDonald’s knowing what the other did and not knowing how to apologize.

“Vilde I’m…” Sana spoke quietly breaking the silence between them, “I’m sorry that my idiot brother caused issues with you and Magnus. Him and his stupid Youtube channel always fucking stuff up.” Sana rolled her eyes.

Vilde wanted to tell Sana the truth about she was thinking of breaking up with Magnus anyways. Sana had helped her so many times and she wanted to tell her first because, she wanted to open up to her as a way to thank her. She wanted to tell Sana the truth. Her friend always made her feel more at ease and she thought maybe she could tell her what she had been hiding from everyone. Even from herself.

“Sana, your brother didn’t mess up anything with me and Magnus. I mean a little, but I did that on my own.”

“Well yeah, I know you played along with those texts, but you didn’t know he was going to put the chat online. It’s still not your fault.” Sana said not understanding what Vilde was saying.

Vilde shook her head, “That’s not what I meant Sana. I was going to break up with him anyways because. Because, well, I like Eva.” She said looking at her shoes and blushing, “I like Eva like how Magnus likes me.” She said, this time looking Sana in the eyes as she spoke a little less afraid of her own words.

“What are you going to do about Magnus though?” Sana said, “Are you guys still together? Does he know about this? Do you want to stay with him?” Sana continued with questions, “And why aren’t you mad at me? I didn’t come forward when they got mad at you and you ended up getting hurt because I messed shit up.”

“Remember that party at SYNG?” Vilde asked and Sana nodded, “Never have I felt as horrible as I did when you grabbed my arm that night. I don’t know what you heard and I don’t care what you or your brother did to anyone. Because none of that matters. I told those awful girls lies about you. I was wrong and I was prejudiced. I shouldn’t have done that. All this shit that’s happening with you and those “Flawless” girls is my fault. I’m sorry Sana.” Vilde felt her eyes welling up as she apologized to Sana for being such a bad friend.

“I’ve had a crush that I haven’t told you about as well.” Sana said, “You know my brother’s friends we hung out with? Well, I like Yousef.” Sana looked so scared and Vilde realized that even if her bravest friends got scared about crushes she would be just fine.

Then, Vilde grabbed Sana lovingly by the waist and hugged her. Laying her head on Sana’s shoulder Vilde felt the tears fall from her eyes. These were tears of relief, joy, and pride. Vilde felt like she had a weight removed from her chest and she could breathe easier as Sana held her close.

“What’s going on here?” Noora asked jokingly when she, Eva, and Chris met them after they had finished at the McDonald’s.

Sana giggled adorably and Vilde smiled wide. They both felt better and freer. If only this was all she had to do, Vilde thought to herself. Being honest hadn’t been the end of the world. Now she needed to open up to everyone else too.

* * *

 

“Isak, wait up.” Vilde shouted from down the hall the following Monday after her classes had ended.

She was not sure if this was appropriate for her to do. It seemed like they weren’t close enough for him to be the second person she told. He also was Magnus’s friend so he would probably get mad at her. She did not want that to happen. If all went to plan this would end just like it had with Sana except no tears. Hopefully.

Isak stopped walking and faced her, “What Vilde?” He looked annoyed and Vilde felt a bit unsettled by his reaction, “I don’t know where Magnus is if that’s what you were going to ask me. He’s probably with Jonas or Madhi in the schoolyard.” He rolled his eyes, obviously irritated and looking like he’s rather be anywhere than in that hall.

“That’s not what I was going to say. I wanted to say sorry.” Once she said this Isak froze unsure of what to say, so she continued her apology, “In November, when you and Even just started dating I treated you unfairly.”

“We weren’t dating then.” Isak interrupted.

“Whatever, I just wanted to say sorry for contributing to the rumors about you that were spread about the two of you. I was rude and for that I’m sorry.”

“Why are you saying all of this Vilde? I need to go home.” He seemed slightly confused but also touched by her apology. Vilde looked around and made sure nobody was there who would be listening in on the conversation. Thankfully there was just some first year girls getting ready to leave.

She took a deep breath and said her truth, “This is all to say I’m sorry how I treated you because it came from a place of self hate and jealousy. I was jealous of how happy you and Even must have been and how unafraid you seemed to be. I was telling everyone about how you were gay because maybe then they wouldn’t suspect that I was.” Isak still seemed confused, “I mean am” She said hoping to get a greater reaction from him.

“Okay,” Isak said calmly appearing mostly unsurprised, “Thanks for saying sorry though. I get it. But just take it from me, end things with Magnus sooner rather than later.”

The two of them started walking toward the doors slowly. The silence was painful. Why did everyone have to bring up Magnus? Why couldn’t she just stay with him for a little longer? With him she never felt out of place, Magnus was what made her feel normal with all the chaos of her home. He was her safety net, there for her, always. But he wouldn’t make her happy.

“I promise.” She said to Isak holding back the melancholy in her voice as they pushed the doors open and went into the schoolyard where Madhi, Jonas, and Magnus were waiting for him.

Isak smiled at Vilde as he walked away to his friends then he shouted at her from across the yard, “I’m happy for you Vilde.” She blushed at him.

* * *

 

Vilde sat on a lawn chair at Eva’s party observing her friends as a bystander. Vilde looked over at Magnus pensively as he danced with their friends. She had made her decision to break up with him. She had to rip his heart out. She felt bad about her decision. All she wanted was to let her own heart grow and he couldn’t do that.

Elias and Magnus were talking about the fights Vilde had had with Magnus about the texts he had sent her in the Youtube video. After that bullshit Vilde tried to fix things. She thought it would make everything hurt less. She had been wrong. It hurt more knowing they could go on and be fine if just forgot how good Eva made her feel.

Even with her doubts, she knew deep down everything happening was for the best. She was scared, but she was proud of herself and what being herself meant. Her pride in herself meant being unafraid what anyone else thought of her. It meant loving herself enough to get through all the shit life threw at her. It meant being strong. Vilde was strong. She swallowed her fears and stood up so she could dance with her friends alongside Magnus one last time.

The candles had been blown out and the alcohol was nearly gone. Vilde sat with Magnus on Chris’s lawn not talking, just listening to him. She played with his hair with his head in her lap. No moment would ever be more perfect to break his heart.

“Magnus, can we go somewhere else for a bit? I need somewhere private to talk with you.” Vilde said to the sweet boyish face looking up at her.

Magnus got up from the grass and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She laughed because maybe this was a joke. They held hands and walked over to the other side of the yard where it was more secluded. Magnus grabbed her cheek and tried to kiss her. Vilde frowned.

“Magnus stop it,” She didn’t want to hurt him anymore, “I need to tell you something and I need you to listen to me. I don’t want to make this harder than it has to be for either of us.”

Magnus looked worried, his eyebrows bunched together and his forehead wrinkled. He looked scared of what she was about to say. She hoped he could understand. He had been fine when Isak had came out, so maybe this would be ok. She was hopeful and there was no going back now.

“I need to tell you something I should have had the guts to tell you a long time ago. Magnus, I’m breaking up with you.” Magnus interrupted her with his obvious questions, “Is there someone else? I knew Elias was up to something. I swear I’m going to go beat the shit out of him.” He stood with an expression that scared her, but she bravely grabbed his hand to hold him back.

“No there’s nobody else, well I don’t know, maybe,” She looked over at a joyful Eva wishfully. The other girl looked so happy and at peace, Vilde wanted all of that, “I have to break up with you Magnus, because this isn’t fair to you. It isn’t fair for either of us. You like me more than I ever have or ever will. You are one of the greatest friends I have ever had, but I don’t love you. Because I’m gay. Magnus, I like girls.”

“Wait what?” Magnus seemed hurt, but not angry, “You told me you loved me. Are you sure you’re not pansexual like Even? I’m totally okay with that.”

“Magnus I’m more sure of this than anything. I don’t want you to be hurt because you are truly the greatest boy I will ever be with, also the last.” Magnus smiled a little at that.

“Ok Vilde.”

Vilde gave Magnus’s shoulder a hug. She rested her head on him as they sat in silence on the ground. Now that were broken up, but she felt her best with him. Life was funny that way. They were more open now and he finally knew what had been wrong the past few weeks. Sad that they had to break up when they finally weren’t being secretive.

A few minutes had passed of them embracing one another peacefully. There was a loud car engine and the two of them walked over to the front of the yard to see what the commotion was that was making so much noise. Vilde frowned upon seeing who it was. It was Chris Schistad. Eva looked so happy when she saw him and Vilde felt her heart breaking. She had broken up with Magnus to be with Eva, and now she’d be alone again and she couldn't go back to how it had been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My longest chapter on any work ever. It could have been 4 different chapter but then i never would have published it. Wow. I'm really proud of this. It was really hard to write especially with all the twists that happened in the show as I was writing it. I tried to stay canon and consistent but I may have fucked up. Hope you liked it! Kudos and comments always encouraged! Only one more chapter hope you'll stay for it.


	7. Both

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is from Eva's point of view after having hooked up with PChris. We finally get to know what the other girl is thinking

Eva sat with her face in her hands not wanting to see the mess she had made in her bed earlier. Chris, a fuckboy, a cheater, and a boy she’s just slept with had left a short while ago. His overnight stay had been fun, but once they had woken up he kept trying to get Eva to label their relationship. She never wanted to do that. He was just a dumb hookup who would always be there for her and would always be hot enough for her to want to be there for him. They had had a system. 

After his awkward introduction to her mom she had wanted to scream at his stupidly hot face. He was such a fucking idiot if he thought they’d ever be exclusive. She had once heard you shouldn’t be with someone if you don’t want to show them off to people. Introducing him to her mom had made her embarrassed. She didn’t want anyone else to see the two of them together. She couldn't even imagine the kind of date he would take her on. He was so self absorbed he would probably spend half the time looking in a mirror or hitting on other girls just because he could. The two of them had chemistry she couldn’t deny that, but that didn’t mean he had to be any more to her than a fuck buddy. 

Whenever she had thought about who she’d end up after graduating from Nissen, her thoughts kept coming back to Vilde, not Chris. 

Vilde who had been there for her when she had had no friends. Vilde who had always cared for her when she got drunk at parties. Vilde who had kissed her and had maybe almost kissed her again. 

One thing Eva did know was that she liked having hookups with Chris and also that she really liked kissing Vilde. She could like both. She knew that, but she just didn’t know who she liked more right now. Her feelings for both of them were real, she cared a lot about both of them. 

Chris had been hooking up with her since she was a first year. She was almost a third year now and he was talking about girlfriends and boyfriends. She hadn’t expected that from him. Commitment was something that had always been out of the picture with her and Chris an now he was the first one to bring it up. 

Vilde was different. Vilde had made out with her for the first time when she had been extremely drunk. Eva thrown herself on her after being rejected by a string of boys at a Penetrator party. The next day she hadn’t regretted it despite having been drunk. Weeks later they had gone to another Penetrator party together and in the chaos of the dancing had ended up locking lips again. Their latest kiss at the karaoke party had scared Eva. After about a year since their last kiss she didn’t think any feelings would arise from it. It was just a goofy thing she was doing with a friend at a party. 

But it wasn’t. It was real and it was scary. She hadn’t felt the way she felt then in a long time. After the kiss she had gone to the bar and downed the hardest stuff they had to forget how good it felt. There had been a boy at the party who had been eyeing her while she kissed Vilde. He had come up to talk when she was at the bar, and in her weird mindset at the time, she grabbed him and kissed him viciously as if to drown her feelings. 

She had had regret the next morning then. It wasn’t fun or silly or good it was just her hiding her feelings. At the time Vilde had a boyfriends and she felt conflict. If it was real feelings it was cheating. She didn’t want to be known as a cheater, again. There was also the overwhelming fear that Vilde had seen what she had done with that stupid unknown boy. 

She liked Vilde a lot and after she had broken up with Magnus she had hoped they would get together, finally. Now it had been over a week and nothing had happened. Rumor had been spinning that Vilde broke up with Magnus because she was gay, or he was gay. She wasn’t sure. 

In April she had wanted Vilde to break up with Magnus. The thought had made her feel awful, but maybe that rumor that he loved her more than she loved him gave her the guts to kiss Vilde at that party. She was tired of lying about her feelings. Now that Vilde was single it was a whole new world of confusion for Eva. 

Thoughts of what Vilde’s intentions were with her when they had almost kissed still flooded her head. Had she misinterpreted what Vilde and her had done? Was Vilde not going to kiss her when Noora interrupted? She was so worried about what Vilde thought when she got another text from the girl herself. 

Vilde: Are you sure you will be at the Eid party? 

Eva: I’m sure 

The text was so innocent and could have a thousand hidden meanings to it. Eva chose a meaning that meant Vilde wanted her. For real this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sad Skam is over, but I will keep writing fics and working on this one until it is done. I hope you all can still enjoy it, even though sadly #VildeIsALesbian will never be canon.


	8. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eva and Vilde are both at Sana's Eid party and they finally reveal their hidden feelings. Two POVs

Sana’s party was going great, Vilde thought. The food was good, the people were interesting, and Eva was there looking amazing, as always. They had been giving one another awkward glances the whole night long. Neither of them had yet gotten the courage to strike up a conversation with the other. They hadn’t spoken much besides a couple texts since their night of “Netflix and chill” in Eva’s bed earlier in the month. Talking with someone you had once almost kissed was awkward and something neither seemed to want to do even if the opportunities had arisen

She couldn’t get Eva off of her mind. They couldn’t avoid one another forever, even now at this party. There were quite a few people, but all Vilde was thinking of was how to avoid Eva so that it wouldn’t hurt as much when the other girl talked about Chris. For the past two weeks Vilde had only been thinking about how much Eva and Chris must be fucking while she was home alone only thinking of Eva. Eva and her smooth skin and beautiful hair and her soft lips. She wanted those lips.

Chris wasn’t at the party, but she had heard something about him coming because Eva wanted to make Jonas jealous. She wanted Eva to be trying to make her jealous.

* * *

 

Eva was trying not to stare at Vilde from across the yard. She looked beautiful in the dress she was wearing and it felt impossible not to look at her.

“Go talk to her.” Noora said to her with a smirk, noticing Eva’s staring. Eva had told Noora about Vilde the day before when they had been working on Sana’s speech for the party together. It had sort of just come out of her mouth. She hadn’t meant to open up so much, but now Noora was trying to get her to go for the girl. Eva had helped Noora recover when William had shown up back in town and now she was returning the favor.

Eva was still nervous, “Last time we talked, really truly talked. You interrupted us. Remember? It was awkward and I can't move on from that.” She was still annoyed about that.

“Yeah…. Sorry about that, I had really needed to talk that night. It was important.”

“If you ever do that again I’m boarding up my windows.” Eva said with an eye roll.

Noora laughed but then continued, “You’ve talked with Vilde a million times. Why is this any different?”

“Because there are feelings and it’s hard and I don’t wanna. Can’t I just ignore it and just be friends.” She was whining.

“Do you want to live your life not knowing if she likes you or do you want the truth? It’s your life not mine Eva, you decide.” Eva bit her lip and looked back at Vilde, all alone and beautiful. It was now or whenever she possibly saw her again in the unexpected scheduling of summer vacation.

* * *

 

The glances and silence must have become too much because Eva came over and stood next to Vilde’s chair, “Hey,” She said with her perfect smile, “This food is great isn’t it?” The small talk was obviously being forced, thought Vilde, “I never knew Moroccan food was so good. Have you had it before?” Eva said trying again with the conversation.

Vilde tried to continue to ignore her, but she was still trying to get a conversation going and she didn’t want to be a total ass to her, “I don’t think I’ve had it before. I like it. It’s better than Turkish food.” Eva nodded, but they were still avoiding their elephant in the room.

It had been so much easier when she was just ignoring her feelings. This new “accepting herself” was exhausting. She didn’t want anymore secrets and wanted to be honest with her, but everyone would see her. Maybe they wouldn’t notice if Vilde started crying from a broken heart at a party. It wouldn’t have been a first. The silence was filled with tension and she couldn’t stand it any longer. She rose from her seat to be at eye level with Eva so she could understand how serious she was being. “Did you try to kiss me when you came over to my house and were in my room or am I just crazy,” She blurted, “And do you like me or was it just a joke when you kissed me at all those parties? Eva I like you a lot and I need a straight, well not exactly straight just an explanation or,”

All of sudden she was interrupted. Eva had grabbed Vilde’s face and with closed eyes had brought her into an embrace Vilde had been dreaming about. She felt like a princess and almost popped her leg before realizing Eva was leaning her weight upon her. Vilde’s mind was still processing what was going on when it suddenly stopped.

Eva took a step back with a calm face and dropped her hands from the other girl’s cheeks and smiled at Vilde “I’ve wanted to do that for so long. I’ve done it before, but that was right, this was right. Vilde I came over here to ask about that night. I was going to tell you I feel the exact same way.”

There was no alcohol in their blood. This was emotion and love and feelings, no longer hidden. They were out. The girl she liked, who she risked it all for, liked her back. She wasn’t alone. Vilde wanted to cry. More than that she wanted to kiss Eva again. So she did. Right there, in front of everyone.

Before it had been so quick, yet caring, now it was more desperate and passionate. Hands were going from cheeks to shoulders to waists. Tongues were sliding between teeth and along the insides of her mouth. They were exploring every bit of one another. It felt perfect. Somehow this felt even better than the quick kiss from before.

They gasped as they came up for air from the kiss. Vilde looked around wondering if anyone had seen how she had somehow gotten the prettiest girl in the world to kiss her in front of everyone. Eva had been proud of her.

When she looked around the party she first saw Magnus staring at the two of them. He was smiling and almost looked proud of her. Who knew, her ex boyfriend proud of her kissing a girl at an Eid party in front of all his friends. Then she looked over to Isak who was with Even. The two of them were tasting all the food of each other's plates and laughing. They looked so happy just to be together. She had been surprised that not everyone had seen her kiss Eva. Her entire world had froze during the kiss, but everyone else kept on with their party. Somehow the kiss felt above it. It had been ethereal and magical, something they couldn’t know or understand. Her gaze fell upon Sana. Sana looked like she had known it would all turn out well. The look in her eyes was filled with a wisdom Vilde loved her for. Finally she exhaled and turned to look at Eva whose beautiful eyes were sparkling in the twilight and made Vilde want to kiss her all over again.

Eva was looking about the party as well. She saw Chris, who she had been in bed with just a week before. He had just arrived and was talking with Elias. Turning her head again Eva saw Jonas, smiling and joking with his friends. Last week they had almost hooked up, but she had stopped herself. He had asked her if it was what she really wanted. His words had stuck in her mind the rest of the day. Her eyes fell upon Noora again, now speaking with Eskild. Noora had always told her to go for things she feared and now she had done just that.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Eva asked Vilde as she quickly grabbed her hand, “Maybe somewhere more private? I want you all to myself for a moment.”

Vilde blushed and then nodded, “Let’s go inside Sana’s house.”

They left the party discreetly, but here was nothing sexual to it. Both of them were hand in hand as they walked up the the stairs in from the back door into Sana’s room. Their friend wouldn’t mind if they just sat there, would she? The bed was perfectly made, and Vilde almost felt bad ruining it by sitting on it with Eva, almost.

Her head fell into Eva’s lap, then Eva began playing tenderly with her hair. It felt so good to be touched by someone she loved, even so softly. This was nothing like the sex she had had with Magnus, in fact all their clothes were completely on, but it somehow was more intimate. The touch and the quietness felt so perfect. Vilde closed her eyes as Eva continued touched her hair. She could just melt she realized as they laid there peacefully.

* * *

 

They rested for a bit together in silence, until they heard chants from outside for Jonas’s speech for Sana.

“Do you want to go? Do we have to leave here? It’s so perfect.” Eva whined tightening her grip upon Vilde.

The two of them had ended up spooning one another on the bed with Vilde in Eva’s arms. They hadn’t spoken much as they laid there on the bed. There was so much to be said, but it could wait. For now they just wanted to be close to one another with no words needed at all. It all felt like a fairytale to Vilde who had long dreamed of this exact thing. But maybe with a little different ending.

“We have to, Eva, it’s to thank Sana. You know she helped me get the guts to break up with Magnus.”

“We’ll have to thank her for that,” Eva said and then kissed Vilde’s cheek.

Vilde was glad Eva couldn’t see the surprised look on her face when she felt the kiss. It had been from behind and hadn’t even been on her lips but it felt so delightful.

She readjusted her position and patted her dress as she got up to go hear Jonas speak. Eva joined her and they held hands as they walked out the door almost unbelievably happy.

“There’s the two lovebirds,” Sana shouted as she saw the two of them walk through the doorway.

Eva looked at Vilde and they smiled and gave a quick kiss to the party's cheers. They were lovebirds. Two girls who liked one another. Despite what others might think this was even better than hiding those feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad to end this, but this was how i wanted to write the ending. I wanted to fix the queerbaiting plot so that the story of Skam ends with Eva going to the girl she's always been destined for and Vilde gets the girl she's always needed. I might write a sequel, but for now this is it. I hope you enjoy and if you don't write your own femslah, we need more of it! :) Also this is so cheesy omg someone could make a quesadilla out of this.


End file.
